Bringing Out the Best in Others
by Rita Milios, MSW

On any other day, Natalie, a typical middle school student, would be rushing home after class, eager to phone a friend. She would chat with her friend about the latest school gossip. They might make plans to get together later in the afternoon. Today, however, was different. Natalie was sitting alone in her room, staring at the wall. Tears had welled up in the corners of her eyes and a lonely, empty feeling was gnawing at her stomach.

Natalie's dog, who was like a part of the family, had recently died. Natalie could not get her mind off this tragic incident. She didn't know how to make herself feel better. She just kept thinking of how much she missed her beloved pet.

Then the doorbell rang. It was Natalie's friend Mallory. Mallory had brought a gift for Natalie, and a pretty card that she had made. The card showed two dogs running. It read, "Now your dog will be running in heaven with our dog."

As Natalie hung up the wind chimes that Mallory had brought her as a gift, Mallory said to her friend, "Every time you hear these chimes, you will think of your dog."

Mallory was a true friend to Natalie. She was there for Natalie when Natalie needed her most. Mallory's kindness cheered her friend up, Mallory also showed Natalie that she understood her friend's pain and her need to experience it. Mallory helped Natalie by giving her a way to remember her dog with good feelings instead of sadness.

Natalie's mother was surprised at the depth of understanding shown by her daughter's friend. "I didn't realize that kids this age could show so much empathy," she said.

Ken Newbury, Ph.D. is not surprised. He believes that the kind of support shown by Mallory is not unusual. He says this is what kids often do to help one another in times of need. He believes that such acts of kindness should be reinforced by parents and teachers. With encouragement, he says, all kids can learn how to treat others with respect and kindness.

Character Counts

Dr. Newbury, a principal at the Hebrew Academy in Toledo, Ohio, has also been a nationwide trainer for a character building program for kids called "Character Counts". Dr. Newbury uses the word TEAM to introduce the basics of good character.

- T is for teach. Parents and teachers can use discussion and role play to teach kids character building skills. These include making good choices, being fair and honest, and treating other with kindness and respect.
- E is for enforce. Kids are encouraged to practice and enforce the skills they learn.
- A is for advocate. Parents, teachers, and kids themselves become advocates who support good character by sharing their knowledge and by encouraging others.
- M is for model. Parents, teachers and kids model the same good character behaviors that they expect from others.

Character in Action

Eleven year old Andre recalls a time when his friend, Alex, showed good character. By doing so, Andre said, Alex helped to save a friendship.

Alex, who has been friends with Andre since first grade, is well liked because he stands up for everyone and does not take sides. "Alex holds our group together," says Andre. "When you are down, he asks you how you are doing. He breaks up fights and tries to help everybody get along."

Once Andre's friend, Justin, was mad at him. Justin believed Andre had said something mean about him in a paper he wrote for a class project.. It turned out to be a miscommunication. But Justin might still have stayed angry at Andre if Alex had not intervened.

"Alex talked to both of us and helped to straighten things out," said Andre. Without Alex as a liaison, the two other friends might not have been able to settle the issue. "Justin wouldn't talk to me about it," said Andre. "I'm glad Alex helped out. Now Justin and I are friends again."

Being a Friend

Friends like Mallory and Alex are special. They are not just friends when things are easy. They stick with their friends in times of need. Dr. Newbury, in his book, WOW: Character, Word of the Week, gives these suggestions for being a good friend:

- Be a caring listener.
- Send a letter or card.
- Say you care.
- Be understanding.

Mallory and Alex displayed the character traits of good friends. But not only that, they helped their friends Natalie and Andre learn how to be good friends, too. They did this by setting a good example. People usually like to be kind to people who are kind to them. Mallory and Alex are good role models. They show positive character traits that others should want to copy.

Bringing Out the Best in Others

Would you like your friends to be kind to you? Would you like them to cheer you up when you are sad? Would you like them to always be there to help you and stick up for you? How do you find friends like this?

The best way to get good friends is to be a good friend. You can bring out the best in other by bringing out the best in yourself.

Below are some guidelines for being your best and bringing out the best in others. Take this "test" and see how you rate as a friend!

How Good a Friend Are You?

-  Do you accept your friends as they are, without wishing they would change?
-  Do you show an interest in your friends, and not just talk or think about yourself?
-  Do you reach out to your friends and include them in activities? -  Do you say only good things about your friends, and never use "put-downs?"
-  Do you do something nice for your friends whenever you can?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you are on your way to becoming a good friend. Keep working at it until you can answer "yes" to all the questions. When you can do that, you will bring out the best in others, and in yourself.

 

Reading Assessment Sample

(445 w; grade 5 reading level)


What Happens When You Sleep?
by Rita Milios

Did you know that your mind does not "turn off" when you sleep? It's true. Your brain is still active, even in sleep.

Scientists can record sleep patterns. They use machines called EEG machines. EEG machines draw lines on paper that show what a person?s brain is doing when they are sleeping. When asleep, your brain waves slow down. Your muscles relax. Your breathing usually slows down, too. Most people?s sleep patterns repeat about every one and one-half hours. All night long, you are moving back and forth between deeper and lighter sleep.

When you first go to sleep, you can usually be easily awakened. This is called the drowsy stage of sleep. But after about five minutes, you go a little more deeply into sleep. Still, this second stage of sleep is called light sleep. The third stage, or deeper sleep, is where your muscles relax more fully and your breathing, heart rate and brain waves slow down. This stage and the forth stage of deepest sleep are very much alike. You spend more time in these two deepest sleep stages.

After one or two cycles of deeper sleep, you have periods of a special kind of "active" sleep. This is REM sleep. REM means rapid eye movement. This lighter sleep happens when you dream. Your eyes move rapidly back and forth under your eyelids. Your respiration increases. Your heartbeat increases, too. But these changes don't last long. Scientists are not sure why REM happens. Some think it may help your brain make memories. If you wake up during REM sleep, you may remember a dream. Sleep that is not REM sleep is more restful. Your body is quieter and less active.

We all need sleep. We need to rest our bodies. But some people need more sleep than others. Most adults need 7-8 hours of sleep. Some get by with fewer, but they may feel tired from missed sleep. Babies need to sleep about eighteen hours a day. By age ten to twelve, most children need only about ten hours of sleep. Teenagers often sleep less. Many teens sleep only eight hours or less per night. But most really need nine to ten hours of sleep to feel rested.

Some people have strange things happen when they sleep. They may feel like they are awake, but they are still sleeping. They may walk around while asleep. They may speak out loud and carry on a conversation. This is called "sleepwalking" or "sleeptalking." These more often happens to young children. But adults sometimes sleepwalk and sleeptalk, too.

(286 w; grade 2 reading level)

A Desert Cactus Flowers
by Rita Milios

In a dry desert lies a small seed. It is the seed of a cactus plant. The seed lies on the ground. It lies there for one year. It is waiting.

The cactus seed must wait for rain. But not just any rain. It waits for a big, hard rain. It needs a big rain so it can grow.

One day, a big, hard rain falls. It makes the seed open. The small seed then sends out tiny roots. The roots go down into the earth. A new cactus begins to grow.

The growing cactus needs food. Its food is in the seed. The seed feeds the cactus as it grows.

The cactus sends out more roots. They go deeper into the earth. There they reach water. Other roots are not so deep. They take water from light rains.

Soon the food in the seed is gone. The new cactus must now make its own food. The cactus takes in light from the sun. It takes in air and water. The cactus turns these
into food.

For two or more years the cactus grows. Then it is ready to flower. The cactus grows a bud. The bud is the start of a flower. The bud has hairs on it. The hairs help keep animals away.

Then one day, there is a flower. But it will not stay for long. The cactus needs to save its food and water. So it keeps its flower only a few days.

Then seeds fall from the flower. They fall to the ground. Here they lie for a year. They lie and wait for rain. One day, they too, will grow into a new cactus.